Human 22: Rebecca Mann

Musician, perpetual student

Bec has an Honours degree in Genetics from the Australian National University, where she studied the intersection between epigenetics and behaviour in the brains of worker honey bees. Avoiding any accusation of being predictable, she has since spent around 2 years working as a residential caretaker and manager of a Buddhist Meditation Centre in the Blue Mountains. Bec is also a musician and has released two EPs (above). Currently, she is studying Philosophy at the University of Sydney. Bec is both one of the simplest and most complex people I know. She is an incredibly interesting human. Her answers didn’t disappoint.

Bec is a human mammal. Here are her thoughts:

What brings you the most joy in life?

I find immense joy in having good conversations, having moments of deep silence, driving alone on a long road trip, spending time with my loved ones, watching a good (or wonderfully crappy) movie, scuba diving, hiking, dancing in my room, performing on stage, writing music or poetry, having a good cup of coffee, thinking and talking about the meaning of our lives or about total nonsense, having a really good night’s sleep, and so much more.

If I dig down into what is common among all the things that bring me joy it comes down to curiosity and connection. In all of the moments where I feel the most joy, I find myself deeply connected to either someone else or to just being alive. This is usually decorated by a feeling of curiosity, whether it be in meditation, conversation or observation. Even if it is in a moment of immense suffering, if I can tap into feeling connected to it and curious about it, there is joy underneath. 

What does success mean to you?

Success is something I struggle to define. As much as I do believe that traditional views of success – money, prestige, power, expertise – are somewhat hollow, I still catch myself wanting them. When in doubt, I try to measure success by looking at the people I admire, usually these are everyday people. When I talk to people much older than me, the ones I see as having led a successful life are the ones that are wise, content and wonderfully cynical. It really doesn’t matter what they have done with their lives. They are engaged and because of that are usually generous, kind, patient, and funny. 

What are you most grateful for?

I am incredibly grateful for the people who I love and who love me, and for all of the kindness and generosity I have been shown. I would not be alive if it weren’t for the loving care of my family, for the opportunities that my relatives gave me by creating a secure and loving family environment which allowed me to explore my own passions and make my own mistakes. It is one of the most amazing privileges to have a loving and supportive family. I am also grateful for all the other people in my life who give me love and friendship. As frustrating as other people can be, they are the greatest gift.  

Who or what has had the biggest influence on your life? 

My family has been the biggest influence in my life. I do believe that many aspects of our personalities are formed in childhood - if it wasn’t for my parents and grandparents, some of the qualities I value most such as curiosity, compassion and love would not have played such an important role in my life. My grandparents all lived incredibly hard lives and tried to create a better one, if it wasn’t for them, I would not have so many opportunities available to me. My parents also instilled a sense of fun, creativity and curiosity, which encouraged me to travel in varied directions, giving me the opportunity to meet many inspirational people. 

What do you regret?

Really, I have very few regrets because if I didn’t go through what I have, I would not be where I am now. Things really couldn’t have gone differently and I am grateful to have learned the lessons I have, even those through suffering. 

However, I am still human. If I were to regret anything, it would be not listening well enough to other people and myself. Most of the pain I have gone through or caused has either come from not paying proper attention to someone, or not listening to my own intuition and trusting my own feelings. I have learned that my intuition usually has a better grasp of what is going on than my rational mind, and when I don’t pay attention, I tend to hurt myself and/or other people. 

What advice would you give your younger self?

Listen and trust your own intuition and feelings - you are the authority on what is best for you; listen to other people when they tell you who they are and what they want; people who are good mentors won’t push and won’t make you feel less than; trust the process and don’t rush, patience is a good skill to develop - I am still working on that one. 

What do you doubt most?

I doubt that anyone can ever be truly objective because we all have different realities coloured by our personalities, experiences and mood, all of which are constantly changing. The rational mind is constantly influenced by factors such as emotion, bodily functions and desires, so how can any person really be objective? 

Anecdotally, I experienced just how much the rational mind is influenced by a barrage of other influences when I was in deep retreat. I was meditating and my mind was thinking about how to solve a particular personal problem. My mind was chugging away on the issue, seemingly very rationally, and it just became more and more complicated. Eventually I got very frustrated. I tried to watch it with all the powers of a meditator, only to realise that I was hungry. Once I ate, the problem just solved itself – really it wasn’t a problem at all. 

When did you last change your mind?

It is hard to pin-point when I last changed my mind because it happens very frequently. I have placed far less value in my opinions recently, so there is more of an ease in changing my mind. I am naturally stubborn, so it has been a personal journey to not hold onto opinions too tightly. 

One example is when I changed my mind about faith and religiosity. In my early 20’s I was very anti-religion following a Catholic upbringing, and was quite dismissive not only of religion but also people who did have some sort of religious faith. While I am still not religious in any major sense, I have found that my hard-mindedness was unproductive and not particularly compassionate or understanding. I have softened a lot and now see more value in some people having divine beliefs. What I care about more is how they act and how they treat other people. It is a big change, because a decent part of my identity was tied up with being hyper-rational, scientific and anti-religious. I guess living at a meditation centre for a few years will soften you. 

What is the role of luck in our lives?

I think luck plays a huge role in our lives. Despite everything we think we are responsible for, so much of our wellbeing and success has very little to do with any form of agency. It is a luck of the draw when, where and to whom we are born. We had no choice in our genetic make-up, the society we are born into or our pre-dispositions. From there, we also have very little if no control over what happens to us and even our decision making. So, whether you call it luck or privilege, I think it plays a very large role in our lives. 

What would you do with your life if you had unlimited financial resources?

To be honest, I would probably be living very similarly to how I am now, just without the financial stress of having to work for money. I’d still study interesting things, make music and travel, but I would be able to tighten up a few things in my life, like having a more reliable car, seeing the dentist more often, and having somewhere stable to live. I would explore more - both locally and globally, mentally, academically, and creatively - and I would also help out the people in my life to ensure they are secure and happy. From there, I would hope would give a lot away to people who need it or know the best place to put it. 

I don’t think money can buy happiness, but I know that financial stress can limit it. 

If you could have the definitive answer to a single question, what would you ask?

I think I would like to know how it all turns out, both at a personal level, but also a species and global level. How will it turn out, especially in the light of climate change and mass extinction? Will we turn it around? 

What concept/fact/idea should every human on the planet understand?

Although I recognise that this is merely a belief I hold, I think that if every human understood that compassion is the key to a good life, the world would be a vastly different place. This includes both self-compassion and compassion towards others. It seems as though the ‘softer’ values of patience, compassion and wisdom are under-valued and misinterpreted as weak or self-sacrificial. I like the idea of fierce compassion. That compassion is strong and enduring like a mountain. In a similar vein, if everyone could see that greed, hatred, and delusion are vices not virtues, it would be a wonderful thing. 

Should we think of morality in relative or absolute terms?

I think that they are two sides of the same coin, and subjectivity and objectivity always need to be weighed and balanced in moral decisions. Morality does not exist in a vacuum and therefore cannot be fully weighed in an absolute sense. Similarly, when investigating moral choices, it is useful to look outside the immediate context and to think in absolute terms as well, to prevent being blinded by the immediate situation.

I heard a great example on the Hidden Brain podcast by Shankar Vedantam in an interview with Iain McGilchrist about left brain/right brain psychology. Two situations were considered:

Situation 1: Two friends go out for coffee. One friend goes to put sugar in the other’s coffee, but accidentally poisons and kills them. 

Situation 2: A friend and their enemy go out for coffee. The enemy attempts to poison the friend, but fails and puts sugar in the coffee instead. The person lives. 

Question: Which is worse? 

In this case, you need to weigh both the absolute fact that someone was killed and another wasn’t with the relative idea of intention. I don’t have a clear answer, but to look only at the utilitarian outcome is missing most of the picture, and to look only at the intention is missing the fact that someone has died. You need both. 

Do human beings have free will?

In my opinion, no. I do believe that we have agency however we can only act according to the tools we have already received, such as genetics, upbringing, natural circumstances etc. I think this drills down to the basic idea that we don’t have a permanent self, and therefore cannot have free-will. If the self is not permanent, who is acting? Although, I do think we have some form of agency, how this works together, I am not sure. 

Do you believe in God?

In any traditional sense, I do not believe in God, or gods. I have been learning that there are many definitions of God, so if one of those made sense, I am open to considering it. But, an omnipresent, creator God, no I do not. I am also finding that it matters less and less whether I do or do not believe in things, only how I act. 

Could we be living in a simulated universe?

Like the various definitions of God, I am not entirely closed to the idea we could be living in a simulated universe. To be honest, it is not a question I think to be all that important. Whether it is or isn’t doesn’t really make any difference to my day-to-day living. If it does, then maybe it is more about a question of why you choose to live your life a certain way based on what you think will happen when it ends. 

Will the continual development of technology have a net positive or negative influence on humanity?

It is a complex question, which I could write an entire essay on. At this time in history, I think our technological development has led to both good things and extremely disastrous things. Technological advancement is morally neutral, but human beings are not. If we were inclined to only develop technology for good, then it wouldn’t be a problem. But so far, technological advancement (even some which has been seemingly for good) has led to disaster because, in my opinion, on a whole humanity is not wise or morally adept enough to know the outcomes of what we build or how it will be used.  

What is the single greatest achievement of humanity?

This occurred a long time ago, but I think that the greatest achievement of humanity has been our ability to work together in large groups. It is something that is pretty absent in the rest of the animal kingdom, apart from eusocial insects (a personal love of mine). We wouldn’t have been able to achieve anything we have if it weren’t for this capability. This could also be viewed as the key to our own destruction, but also potentially our salvation. 

What do you see as the biggest existential threat to humanity?

Greed. 

Greed is an underlying cause for so many of our greatest disasters and it is what is leading us to extinction. Greed is why we probably won’t be able to roll back the effects of climate change, why we still are taking more than we need from the land and oceans, and why we have stolen land from native peoples. Greed, sometimes disguised as ambition, is almost seen as a virtue. I think this is why it is so dangerous.  

What does it mean to live a good life?

I think a good life is one where you live by your values to the fullest extent that you can. If you value kindness and curiosity and make choices that fulfil these values, then you are living a good life. It was advice that I got very young - to live a values-based life rather than a goals based one. It has served me very well and when in doubt about a decision, I merely choose the one that aligns most closely to my values and go from there. 

What is a good death?

I don’t know if there is necessarily a good death. The closest I can think is if you have come to terms with dying, lived true to your values and are content with the life you have lived. If you are content with your life, I feel like death may not be as terrifying. But in this, I am not sure. There are awful ways to die that are purely based on luck; I have not died yet though, so I do not know. 

Thanks for your time, Bec!

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