Human 14: Sally Jean Davis

International footballer, carpenter and wedding celebrant

Sally Davis (formerly, Shipard) played football for Canberra United in the Australian W-league and had a stint in the German Frauen-Bundesliga with Bayer 04 Leverkusen. Throughout her career, Sally represented Australia more than 60 times and played in two FIFA Women’s World Cups, making her one of Australia’s most accomplished female footballers. Having recently completed a carpentry apprenticeship, she now teaches woodwork at the Two Sheds Workshop for women and kids in Wanniassa. She also moonlights as a wedding celebrant. 

Occasionally, if you’re lucky, you come across people who have an infectious joy that is hard to describe. Sally is one of these people. Without fail, I have left every interaction with her happier than when I arrived. She is a genuinely good person and I am sure you’ll appreciate her thoughtful answers to my left-field, erratic, questioning.

Sally is a human mammal. Here are her thoughts:

What brings you the most joy in life?

Sharing joy with others. The most recent example that comes to mind is my wife and I moving in to our first home together. She was joyful, as was I, so our joy’s combined made my feelings of joy all the sweeter. I have load of examples but, the best kind of joy, Daniel, is joy shared with others. 

What does success mean to you?

I think my definition of success has changed over time. During my football career, from a very young age, my perspective (relating to success) was goal orientated and very much influenced by results. Today, having evolved from my sporting life, I would lean towards a blurrier definition - something like a continued connection, both with the humans around me and all the elements of the natural world. Yes, I am still aiming for improvement, to develop skills for life, striving to be a better human etc. etc., but I am less goal orientated.

What are you most grateful for?

My capacity to love and be loved. 

Six specific people have greatly influenced me in this way: my beautifully supportive and engaged parents, Col and Lynne; my three incredibly strong and vastly different brothers, Sam, Will, and Matty; AND April, my wife. 

Who or what has had the biggest influence on your life? 

The above humans would also be the biggest influences on my life. 

I can also be majorly influenced by an author. Right now, it is Alain de Botton (‘The School of life - an emotional education’ blows my mind). A few years ago, it was Marcus Aurelius (‘Meditations’, translation by Gregory Hays). I love that sometimes you might not be ready for a book, but then when you are, things resonate so deeply - you’ve found yourself a bible.  

What is something most people don’t know about you?

I’ve recently been experimenting with an app called ‘We Croak’. It is inspired by a Bhutanese saying: to be a happy person, one must contemplate death five times daily. Five times a day I get a reminder, each complete with a related quote. It’s been interesting… 

What do you regret?

Until my mid 20’s (I am now 33) I would have responded with a very black and white answer: ‘Oh, life is way too short for regrets’. However, I can comfortably admit to having one now. 

The biggest personal challenge I have had is my own mental ill health. My eating disorder and depressive tendencies became very strong at times during my life, particularly in my formative years as a teenager. I had no idea what the illness would develop in to and the reason my eating disorder surfaced was not the reason it stuck around. It challenged me for a long time, and I was very secretive about it from about 15 to 19 years old (I wasn’t capable of accepting the lessons then, nor was I able to make much sense of it) - I regret not nipping it in the bud. I decided to get help around the age of 19 following telling signs picked up by football staff and the acknowledgement that I was not going to be able to get better on my own. I further regret sweeping my strengthening eating disorder behaviours under the rug and pretending I had it sorted. It continued to exist alongside my football career. 

As of the last few years, having held myself fully accountable and re-engaged regularly with my psychologist, I am mostly recovered. Which in turn has become one of my greatest ongoing achievements. 

Even though I hold this regret, in my heart of hearts I don’t know if I’d wish for a different path. I am happy with the life I have lived, I just would have liked to have been more present and not so occupied by ED thoughts. 

What advice would you give your younger self?

Firstly, your perfectionistic tendencies will be a great strength for you but also a weakness (‘The weakness of strength theory’ - Alain de Botton if anyone’s interested… I know I have already mentioned the man, great guy).

And secondly, brace yourself for a bumpy and adventurous ride, and don’t worry you will never wish for a different one, you’re exactly where you need to be, just go gently, be patient, stay connected, and be kind to yourself. 

What do you doubt most?

Humanity waking up in time to the damages of our choices, not just environmental choices…

I am no perfect human, but I know that I can make small changes to my lifestyle that benefit the greater good of the earth in some way. My doubt is that we do not have enough people who are prepared to slow themselves down and make the essential changes required.

When did you last change your mind?

I was just going to go for a walk this evening but then I thought… ‘nah, I’d like to answer these questions’. 

What is the role of luck in our lives?

I wish people ‘good luck’ all the time. 

What is the most important thing we can teach kids in school?

Emotional literacy. 

If you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would you choose and why?

My nan. She knew how to love. Plus, she’d probably have baked some shortbreads or something yum because she knew I was coming to visit. Shortbreads and nan’s company = pure joy. 

What would you do with your life if you had unlimited financial resources?

I would pay all the local regenerative farmers a wage they deserve and re-direct the general populations attention towards supporting local economy. My spending would be very much focused on repairing and replenishing the earth’s resources and re-establishing our human connection to earth, and in turn to each other. 

If you could have the definitive answer to a single question, what would you ask?

I went deep initially and wondered if we’d live differently if we all knew when we would die?

But then I opted for something more superficial… I have always been curious about the weather person; you know when it reads 5 degrees, but they say it feels like -2? I have always wondered who that person is who decides the ‘feels like temperature’. 

What concept/fact/idea should every human on the planet understand?

Love. 

Should we think of morality in relative or absolute terms?

Relative. 

I have spent a good portion of my life seeing things as black and white - this was not a healthy approach for me. In hindsight, it was a harsh, more boxed in and definitive existence. Nowadays, I am more fluid with my approach in relation to morality, it certainly feels more gentle and kind. As a result, I have been better able to understand myself and others. 

Do human beings have free will?

I seem to waiver in and out of this argument in my noggin’. I do believe that to an extent we have freedom, for example, I believe we have a choice with our thought patterns, I believe we have a choice with our day-to-day movements. Although, whilst I do not believe someone is up there pulling the strings, I do wonder if our paths are already pre-determined in some way. 

Do you believe in God?

Not one single thing/human who died a while back… but yes, a greater power/force than us. Is that a god? I guess that depends on your definition. 

Could we be living in a simulated universe?

Well, this pertains in some way to the question about free will? I do not think we are in some big video game, but I do think we all have some lessons to learn - very similar lessons, in vastly different contexts. 

Will the continual development of technology have a net positive or negative influence on humanity?

I can’t help but feel a bit scared by the pressure technology induces. It’s very much ‘finger on the pulse’ kind of stuff. Things are moving and developing so fast, at some point will we lose control of the beast? I would like to think we will keep up. 

My immediate concerns regarding technology lie with the younger generations. Some kids who come through our workshop speak about playing computer games from sun up to sun down and are very outspoken about NOT seeing a problem with it. One young woodworker told me she speaks more to her siblings when online than in real life. I would consider this very much a negative. 

What do you see as the biggest existential threat to humanity?

Climate change - I am no scientist, nor a specialist in the field, but the signs are pretty obvious to me. 

What does it mean to live a good life?

To love and be loved.

What is a good death?

One following a good life. 

What question should I have asked you?

Why do you love Tahini so much?

Thanks for your time, Sally!

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